Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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