I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize