On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
