I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
