I'm really into asian looking animals
i think my tv is drunk
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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