Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
