Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
