i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize