Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize