Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize