This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
