TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
