Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize