i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
