I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize