ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Never joke about your clitoris.
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