some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
