my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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