i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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