like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
