when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
