I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Redeem this text for a blowjob
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
