girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize