Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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