roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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