that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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