all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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