so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
