dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
