saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
