Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
