I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
