i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Still dying that you shit outside
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
