She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
