...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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