my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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