Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize