dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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