My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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