never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
