it's too hot outside to masturbate.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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