I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I cockslap morals
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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