I'm lost and stupid without you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
