Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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