Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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