If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
