I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
