he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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