so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
