remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
