We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
we're so committed to being not committed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize