Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
