My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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