You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
