I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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