Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Green mimosas i think yes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize