plz talk dirty to me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
